Who are you?… REALLY?

Can you answer that? I know I can’t… Who am I? Who am I really? The million dollar question that weighs on everyone at some point in their life. This world is so up in arms over what we identify with or as… when really what we should be asking is “Who Am I?”.

Now you might be asking yourself where to even start with this process. No I’m no genius or even that brilliant, but I do know one thing…. I know that very few of us truly know the answer to that question. Only you can answer it, NO ONE else can!

Here I am 27 years old, not one clue as to who I am. When I sit and try to even think about it I have a panic attack. I am a mom of 3 amazing and beautiful children. I should hold the answer to everything! When someone asks you who a person you know is you tell them basically what you know about them… yet that’s not who they really are. That’s their identity to you.. here is an example… when someone says “Who is Laura, do you know her?” 99% of the time they say…”Oh yeah that’s Dane’s wife!” I love my dear husband…. but no that’s simple just how people identify me. That doesn’t make me who I am. For a long time I would ask myself this question and many times I came back with this answer… “I’m a stay at home mom, I do everything for these kids. My whole day everyday is revolved around my kids.” That’s not and was not who I WAS… That was what I did daily and still do. My kids are not who I am, they are apart of me yes. They will always be apart of my identity, but that isn’t WHO I AM.

So WHO AM I…

I’m Laura, I’m married to Dane we have 3 kids and we live in his home town…

*Pretty good and generic right? Well that’s not who I am, That’s just part of my identity…

I’m part Chickasaw and proud of it!

*Also good but that’s my ethnicity

I’m a Christian and I believe the bible guides us to know whats right and wrong very clearly.

*Good as well… But that’s my religion and morals

I like to do basically anything crafty, I love to work with my hands on projects, I’m not afraid to get dirty or sweaty…

*Great! but… that’s my hobbies

I have a passion to help mom’s with breastfeeding, I love being outside, I love reading books, I love adventure!

*Closer!… however those are what I’m passionate about

How on earth is anyone going to figure out who they are!? Maybe we are supposed to walk around not knowing and spend our whole life trying to figure it out….What if I told you that it was actually pretty simple, but we just don’t know the right course to take? The right questions to ask? I feel like I’m constantly changing… something must be wrong with me!

Don’t worry dear friends! Although I do not have the answer to all of the World’s problems, I do have an answer for this. At least it is what helps me…

*Don’t over think too much… Hilarious I know coming from someone who is CONSTANTLY over thinking everything!What I mean though is this…. Sit down, Take a deep breath and relax… good now let’s get started!

  1. LIFE STAGES:You will always be changing who you are, It’s life! Who I was at 16 isn’t who I was at 20 or who I am today. I can guarantee you aren’t either! It’s called Stages in life and everyone goes through them. They shape us into who we will be later in life, our older selves.
  2. PASSIONS: Part of who we are comes from our passions and our hobbies because what we strive to be is stimulated from our passions. What I strive to be is a Lactaion Constulant and that comes from my passion of breastfeeding.
  3. WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING: We all put on a facade depending on where we are going. We as humans are so afraid to let the world see us as we are. There is so much judgement and hate, but how do you act when no one is looking? If you ask anyone they will tell you how naive, shy and quiet I am. Those that know me know that isn’t true.
  4. RELATIONSHIP: You’re relationships that you hold dear tell so much about you. It tells you the very things you crave from people. What you need to feel “whole”. As humans we crave interaction! Introvert or extrovert, it doesn’t matter which one you are. That just tells you how much interactions some people like and dislike.
  5. HARDSHIPS: They shape us as we age! Some have more than others… I for one have more than most my age, but I know plenty that have more than me. We all have them from time to time. It’s how we deal with them and move on after them that tells you how you have changed. Hopefully for the better.
  6. ACTIONS: How you treat those that can not help you says so much about you! How do you treat those that can’t help you advance in your job? How do you treat those that beg even if you can’t help them at the moment? Are you one of those people who just step on anyone to get ahead in life or are you that person that breaks a little inside every time you see someone begging for something… anything extra?
  7. CHOICES: Everyday we have choices. Those choices you may think are uncontrollable or inevitable. I mean how else are you suppose to react but in anger when you’re late to work and stuck behind a line of cars then spill your coffee down your shirt right before you walk into your office? However the choices we make to those aggravating moments shape us, not just for that day but for our life. Have you ever noticed someone who is always getting upset over things that are “uncontrollable” become so negative and hateful about their entire life over time? Our choices of how we react to life mold us in ways we don’t even see.

Who we are is made up of so much more than just our names, religion, or ethnicity! It’s so much bigger than what we “identify” with. So the question I urge you to ask yourself isn’t what you identify as, but who are you? The real you! The you that makes you so unique and special. The one you want everyone to love and not this facade you have created because you think that’s what everyone will like best. You want to know something? Everyone is afraid to show who they really are. To ask this question to themselves. Don’t be that person. Don’t be someone in the crowd. Be you! Be unique! Be real! This world is so caught up in identification of every emotion, person, thing… Whatever you want to call it. Forget that for a moment and figure out who you are. That will tell you more about yourselves than what emotional feelings, personality,or sex you identify with. I don’t think anyone knows what it truly is to identify with something or someone. Everyone is different and everyone has different experiences. And we should! other wise we would all be clones and be very boring.

Hi I’m Laura and I know exactly who I am at the moment, at this stage of my life. I’m a wife, a mom, a servant, a christian woman… I am reserved yet I’m tempered. I have had struggles in life that have made me stronger. I am not afraid to show you who I am, or what you may think of me. I know what I want and I know how to achieve my goals. I will not be held down. I own my actions even when they are not great. I am young, but I am not niave.

I know who I am…. Do you?

 

 

Mother’s Day

You know the whole commercialized Mother’s day is so much work isn’t it? I mean the whole thousands of gifts or lets plan this or that…. ect. It is just all a bit too much in my opinion.

You know what mom’s really want? She wants the house to be kept clean for 24 hours with out her having to do the work, she wants to sleep in or nap or hey maybe even both! She doesn’t want a day away from the kids, after all they are who made her a mom… She just wants a day where there isn’t fighting between the kids. She wants to actually be able to sit and relax whether it’s with a book, a movie, a bath, or even an adult coloring book. She also doesn’t want to have to cook one meal for 24 hours.

So now that you know what a mother wants give it to her! It wont kill you to pick up the extra work around the house for 1 day in order to give her that. You can do it! Get the kids involved too! You don’t need to go out and buy $$$$ of gifts and plan an elaborate day away, that most likely will get ruined some way or maybe it won’t  live up to the expectations of what one of you had. You’re not a cook you say? No problem! that’s what take out is for! There are a ton of ways for you to help out, to lighten the load. You just have to do it, and here is the best news of all…. You are capable. We believe in you!

If you haven’t already (which by now you should have) Celebrate your mom!!! She has poured her whole heart and life into everything you have. Everything she does for you is because she loves you! She labored for hours, she cried over you, she prayed for you, she dreamed about you. When you hurt she hurts, when you are joyous she is joyous. She wants nothing more but the best for you and for you to succeed in life far beyond what you could ever even dream of. She is your cheerleader in all things. She is your support, your go to person. She is and will always be the number one person who is no matter what always there for you. When you think you have messed everything in your life up and you have no one to turn to…. You have your mom! “Forever and always as long as she’s living her baby you’ll be.” Don’t forget that ever.

Being a girl we tend to love our moms unconditionally until we hit about 12… then we basically lose our minds, our way, and our ability to be human. But you know what the craziest thing is? Your mom has been there too… she knows the struggles you face and no matter what stupid thing us girls do during that time… our moms still love us. Then we turn 19 and it’s HELLO WORLD I’M BACK! You want to know who is the most happiest? Your mom! She now can talk to you and you listen, but not only listen you actually take her advice because all of a sudden mom knows a thing or two. She’s not a dumb as she was when you were 12-18 years old.


I never understood the struggles my mom had until I became a mom. She really was and still is SUPER WOMAN! I don’t know how did it all. She raised 2 kids that weren’t biologically hers, yet you wouldn’t have known it by looking at how much she loves them. Then helping my father battle a rare brain stem tumor, not long after being married I might add. After that my sister came along…. then a few years later they finally got it right! I was born 🙂 Actually what probably happened was they were terrified to have anymore after they saw how crazy I was turning out to be. She juggled all of us…. they graduated 2 kids out of school and then moved 2 more kids into school. She worked full-time, came to every school event, never missed a birthday, never missed a softball game. In fact she ran between two games that were happening at the same time pretty often. She helped with girl scouts and school field trips. She was the mom everyone loved and wanted to be. She was the mom all my friends thought was just the coolest because she made our birthday cakes and took homemade treats to school for the holiday parties. She cooked breakfast pizza the next morning for all of our sleep overs. She never missed a beat… she is what I strive to be in every way. She is my hero! I don’t know anyone else that did what she did. Even after my dad passed away, she is the strongest person I know.


She also had an amazing mother to guide her through life and motherhood. I loved my Nana with all my heart. We had so much in common and I learned so much from her too. She was someone who I held very high in my world. She could do no wrong, she is just so perfect that I’m unsure how to even come close. She had my mom when she was 40 years old. Imagine that surprise! She never drove a day in her life, she took care of us when my mom had business trips to go to. She kept us over summer breaks for what felt like weeks at a time because time stood still there. We never had a boring minute with her. She let us roller blade in the house, turn her shed into a play house, help her cook, we went for countless walks and to the park. When it was time for my mom to get us I was sure we had been away for months because we did so much there.

I’m striving to be as good of a mom as my mom has been to me and as her mom was to her. I just hope I can be half as good as them because right now I sure feel like I mess a lot of things up.


Happy Mothers day Mom, I love you!

Breastfeeding Isn’t Always Easy and Glamorous

After my daughter was born, I wanted to breastfeed her but I didn’t know one thing about breastfeeding.  I didn’t know it was challenging or that it doesn’t come naturally for something that was so natural for women to be able to provide their child. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with her it was drilled into my head “breast is best”. I couldn’t get her to latch at the hospital so my nurse told me I’d have to give her a bottle if she wouldn’t latch. I didn’t know if you give a baby a bottle you’d need to pump to make up for that feeding. As you could guess I quickly dried up. So when I failed at it after just 3 weeks I felt like a failure. Not because I thought formula was bad in anyway, but breastfeeding is what a mother is suppose to be able to do, right? I understand not every mother wants to breastfeed, but I did. I was determined to breastfeed my second child. I think instead of wanting to breastfeed for the health benefits of both the child and mother that comes from breastfeeding that I wanted to achieve this goal to prove to myself I can do this and I’m not a failure. What I found out instead was that it’s a beautiful and moving experience. The connection you build with your child cannot be compared to anything else.  I want to be able to help others through their struggles and help them overcome the trials of breastfeeding so they too can experience the most overwhelming love and connection with their own child. I hope one day I can become a Lactation Consultant and I hope this blog helps someone realize they aren’t a failure just because they cannot breastfeed. I know about low supply, over supply, cracked/bleeding nipples (yeah, that happens), thrush, clog ducts, near mastitis (like the closest you can come to it I think).

Eli, my second child, was born July 2011. My goal was to breastfeed him no matter how difficult it was. Right after he was born he latched perfectly, but somewhere between the first day and the 2nd week his latch became less than perfect. He developed thrush and I was at the start of mastitis. I started meeting with a Lactation Consultant and she immediately took me under her wing. She helped me with all the clogged ducts I had before it turned into mastitis. What I found to be very important is that many new mothers do not know about is Lecithin. Go buy that now it is basically lube for your milk ducts. You’ll thank me! Warm compresses, pumping and nursing around the clock, 3 Lecithin and 3-200mg Ibuprofen saved me from mastitis. After 24 hours, I felt like myself again and not like I was dying. She helped me with his latch and showed me different ways to insure a good latch. She helped me stay calm and collected when I would get frustrated with myself. She helped me understand thrush and how it transfers from the baby to me and from me to the baby. We battled thrush for 3 whole months, when all the medicines the doctors tried didn’t work, I turned to Gentian Violet 1%. That stuff works miracles! It stains everything, but it works, and in 4 days, we no longer had it!!!!!!! Seriously all you new mothers and by new mothers I mean anyone who just had a baby. no matter if its your 2nd or third baby and you are having issues go find a Lactation Consultant.

My goal of breastfeeding quickly changed to just to the next day… then, just to the end of the week… then, just to the end of 2 weeks… then, just a month longer…. and before I knew it after three long months of battling thrush and clog ducts, crying over the pain and frustration, and rejoicing when finally everything came together and we found our grove.  I realized breastfeeding was a beautiful experience.  Never in my life did I know you could feel so close to a child.  I no longer experienced anxiety when he was hungry.  I no longer had clog ducts.  I no longer had thrush and every horrible side effect that came with those.  I finally came to a point where I didn’t have a timeline of when I would stop breastfeeding.  It quickly changed to when he was ready.  Deep down I knew I just didn’t ever want to let this feeling go.  I was the only one who could feed him, to comfort him, and to be his main source of everything he needed.  Next thing I knew he was about to turn 2 years old and was ready to wean.  I cried when he was done.  I knew it was time and I was ok with that, but I was sad over losing the peaceful bonding time we had.  I cherished all the sweat and blood that went into achieving my goal and exceeding my expectations of what I thought breastfeeding was.

With my third baby, who was born October 2014, I felt more confident in what I was doing. I knew what to expect and what to do. He has been a breeze. I really couldn’t have asked for a more perfect easy breastfeeding experience.  After being faced with all three very different breastfeeding experiences, having overcome not just the physical trials, but also the mental trials they bring, I am proud to say I breastfed 2 of my 3 children.  I breastfed one child for 2 years and my second child 15 months so far.  It’s not something a woman should feel forced to do, but something she will absolutely love and cherish forever if she is successful.  There absolutely will be hard times and complications in the beginning, but as long as you has a place or a person to turn to for the help and the support you’ll need you can succeed. You can overcome any insecurity you may be facing when you cannot figure out on your own why it isn’t working. If the first Lactation Consultant isn’t right for you don’t give up! Find someone you click with and who can related to your struggles.